Why mindset deserves its own conversation

Before I continue with some of the other topics I want to explore, I feel it is important to talk about something that sits underneath everything that we do: mindset.

And I want to start by being honest. My mindset is not always where I want it to be.

I still have personal work to do. I still catch myself thinking thoughts that don’t serve me, worrying about things that haven’t happened, and focusing on what could go wrong rather than what I actually want.

But, perhaps that’s exactly why I feel there is so much I can share.

I am not writing about mindset from a place of having everything figured out.

I am learning, applying, observing myself and, sometime, catching myself halfway through an old thought pattern and thinking:

“Oh…there I am doing that again!”

One thing I have come to understand is that developing a resilient mindset is fundamental to success in any area of our lives.

For a long time, I understood intellectually when mentors talked about success being 1% physical and 99% spiritual. The physical part is showing up and taking action. The spiritual side is about managing your mindset.

I would show up physically, but by not truly believing in myself, what I was doing or the value of what I was offering – I didn’t get very far.

I would work harder. Try to do more. Try to control my results.

Understanding something intellectually and actually living it are two very different, but necessary things.

What I didn’t fully appreciate was that I could keep changing what I was doing, but if I continued thinking in the same way, I could keep producing the same patterns.

That was a big realisation for me.

Your mind matters more than you might think

We have far more influence over our thoughts than we sometimes realise. That doesn’t mean we can control every thought that pops into our heads. We can’t. But we can become aware of our thinking.

We can question it.

We can choose what we continue to focus on.

And perhaps most importantly, we can begin to question the thoughts we automatically accept as true.

It takes real control to think differently when appearances around you are telling you something else.

Wallace D. Wattles, in The Science of Getting Rich, wrote about the power of maintaining a different way of thinking even when circumstances appear to contradict it.

That idea has stayed with me.

When things aren’t going well, it is very easy to let circumstances dictate your thinking. But what if we started looking at it the other way round?

What if we become more conscious of the thoughts we are repeatedly giving out attention to – and began choosing our focus more deliberately?

This is where the conscious and subconscious mind becomes such an interesting subject, and it is something I will explore in more detail in the next blogs.

In simple terms, our conscious mind is involved in our thinking and decision-making, while our subconscious mind is influenced by the ideas and beliefs we repeatedly accept.

Those beliefs influence the way we think, feel and act. Our actions don’t happen in isolation. They are connected to what we believe about ourselves, what we believe is possible and what we have come to accept as true.

That is why mindset matters so much.

So why do we need to change our mindset?

This is probably the biggest question.

Why bother?

Particularly if certain areas of your life aren’t where you want them to be, it can be tempting to focus entirely on changing your circumstances.

Jim Rohn famously emphasised the connection between personal growth and changing our circumstances.

The starting point is actually how we are thinking about those circumstances.

Another idea that has stayed with me through my personal-development journey is that our thoughts have a powerful influence on the direction of our lives.

Because our thoughts influence what we notice, what we say, what we do and the decisions we make.

Have you ever noticed that you have one bad experience, and suddenly you seem to notice ten more things that are wrong.

You start worrying about money, and everywhere you look you see reasons why there isn’t enough.

You start believing that things won’t work work, and, guess what, your mind becomes very good at finding evidence to prove you right.

This is where awareness becomes so important.

The first step towards changing your mindset is awareness

One of the first steps towards changing our mindset is simply becoming aware of our thoughts.

Not judging them.

Not criticising ourselves for having them.

Just noticing them.

This was something I had to learn. At first, I would catch myself thinking a disempowering thought and immediately think:

“Why am I thinking that?” Then I would get annoyed with myself for thinking it.

Which, of course, didn’t make me feel any better.

What I eventually began to understand was that judging myself for my thoughts was simply adding another layer of negativity.

The thought was there. I didn’t need to beat myself up about it.

I just needed to notice it.

I started becoming more aware of how often my thoughts were focused on what could go wrong, what had gone wrong yesterday, last week or even last year.

And that was quite revealing.

Because if my attention was continually focused on what I didn’t want, was it any wonder that I was experiencing more self-doubt and negative thinking?

Where is your attention going?

Awareness is about noticing where your thoughts naturally go. Ask yourself:

What do I think about most?

Do I focus on:

• What I want?
• What is going well?
• What is possible?
• What I can do?

Or do I spend most of my time thinking about:

• What could go wrong?
• What I don’t have?
• What went wrong in the past?
• What I am worried might happen?

There is no judgement here.

This isn’t about deciding that you are a “positive thinker” or a “negative thinker”. It is simply about becoming curious about your own mind.

Because you can’t change a pattern you haven’t noticed.

How to become more aware of your thoughts

There are different ways you can begin developing this awareness. Everyone has ways that works best for them.

For me, I found a mixture of meditation and journaling particularly useful.

Meditating helps to slow my thoughts down and makes it easier to notice repetitive thinking.

Writing down my thoughts allows me to see patterns that can be difficult to notice when they are simply running around in my head.

Try meditating and keeping a journal of your thoughts for 30 days. For the first few days:

Don’t try to make your thoughts sound better.

Don’t censor them.

And definitely don’t beat yourself up over them.

Just write them down. Then look for the patterns.

What thoughts keep appearing?

What are you worrying about repeatedly?

What are you telling yourself?

What are you focusing on?

What are you training your mind to look for?

One example, that is easy to use and easily measurable, and a dominant for me, is money. If you dominant thought is:

“I never have enough money.”

Your attention naturally starts looking for evidence that supports that belief.

The bills.

The things you can’t afford.

The unexpected expense.

The lack.

And before long, that thought can become a familiar pattern.

So don’t judge yourself for having the thought, become aware of it. Then begin deliberately introducing a different way of thinking.

For example, you might use an affirmation such as:

“Money flows to me easily and effortlessly, in increasing amounts, through multiple sources on a continuous basis.”

Whether affirmations are something you are comfortable with or not, the principle is worth considering.

What thoughts are you repeatedly rehearsing?

Because what we repeatedly focus on can become familiar. And familiar thinking can become habitual thinking.

This is only the beginning

Mindset is a huge subject.

The more I learn about it, the more I realise there is to understand.

And I certainly don’t believe changing your mindset means simply telling yourself to “think positive”. There is much more to it than that.

It is about understanding how we think.

Understanding the conscious and subconscious mind.

Understanding the beliefs we have developed – and how our childhood, family beliefs and environment can shape those beliefs, which in turn influence our thoughts and behaviours.

Understanding our higher faculties and how we can use them.

Understanding of our self-image – and why we can sometimes keep ourselves stuck at a level that doesn’t match what we say we want.

And ultimately, developing the resilience to keep moving forward when life doesn’t go according to plan.

That is why this is going to become a series rather than one huge blog. Because I want to explore these subjects properly. From the perspective of someone who is still doing the work.

I am learning to catch my old thought patterns.

I am learning to question them.

I am learning to focus more deliberately on what I want rather than what I don’t want.

And I am learning that changing your circumstances isn’t always where change begins.

Sometimes, it begins much closer to home.

Inside your own mind.

A question for you

Before you move on with your day, take a moment and ask yourself:

“What have I been thinking about most lately?”

Don’t judge the answer. Just notice it.

Because awareness is the first step.

And once you become aware of your thoughts, you can begin to decide whether they are taking you towards the life you want – or keeping you anchored to the life you are trying to change.

This is where the real mindset work begins.

Coming next: The Conscious and Subconscious Mind

In the blog, I’ll take a closer look at the conscious and subconscious mind – what they are, how they work together, and why the beliefs sitting beneath our conscious thinking can have such a powerful influence on our behaviour and results.

If you’re interested in mindset, personal development, resilience and creating meaningful change in your life, I hope you’ll join me for the part of the series.